I'll never understand the stress and intensity you've experienced. Watching movies and trying to relate likely further remove me from your reality.
What I do understand is how challenging it is for someone to make it in the civilian workforce. Micro-cultures upon micro cultures abound here in the Silicon Valley. From my perspective, here are a few tips on things that may ease our version of stress.
First, network like hell. Most people want to help you but they don't know how. And they want to help you because they recognize your sacrifice to our country. So they'll listen to you and offer to digitally introduce you to some and send you resume to others... Take advantage of all of it. Companies are getting hundreds of resumes per posting and the average interview process is taking about a business-month*. This data is for civilians who have been practicing how to interview for years and years.
Second, establish routines early. It's hard enough to feel purposeful and we've been here while you've been deployed. There are probably millions of articles on how. Here's one: https://www.thespruce.com/how-to-create-a-daily-routine-2648007.
Third, look for a Federal job. You have preference.
Last, believe in yourself. Don't listen to the nonsense about lack of education or training, if that's what you're hearing. If you're reading this, you already know we can help in this area.
When you go in for a job interview, you are surrounded by people in that company who are trying to find a new job themselves. Over two-thirds are looking while they are employed. For you, this means you are sitting across from someone who really wants to give you a job because they know over half the people on the floor have one foot out the door. Take advantage of that!